People that move away from Texas still talk about Whataburger with such awe, endowing it with the hallowed status of a last meal on death row. Why? We suspect that it’s only wonderful whenever Mr. Jack Daniels is leading the way at two-thirty in the morning. But Whataburger’s standard burgers are only slightly above average for fast food. Ditto for the chicken sandwiches, chicken tenders, and so on.

Around lunchtime, it’s also not so fast. Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing; Whataburger prides itself on fresh food that isn’t made until you order it. A thin, tasteless patty, often gray and dull, comes seasoned with a blend of spices and topped with fresh and crispy lettuce, tomato, pickles, and onions. You can add cheese, bacon, or pickled jalapeños; we recommend all three. Better than the burgers is the breakfast taquito, served daily from 11pm to 11am. It’s filled with eggs and your choice of bacon, potato, or sausage.

There are plenty of other burger joints that are ten times better than Whataburger, and at two in the morning, there are many taquerías that have better food, too. But Whataburger cravings are intense; when you get one, it stays with you until you satisfy it—or at least drunkenly start to, possibly passing out mid-burger.