We hoped, beyond hope, that the reopening of Simposio would save the place. The old Richmond location, well past its prime, was dreadful, like the cafeteria at a corporate training center: office-style ceilings, incredibly bright lighting, an antiseptic layout. Bad works of art on the walls had prices attached to them, just to add a twinge of tackiness, too. People seemed to agree; if they couldn’t get a crowd at prime time on a Thursday night near the Galleria, the buzzards were clearly circling.

The new location, at least, is a major atmospheric step up, with more natural lighting, less of the office-cubicle feel, pleasant gray and gold colors, and curvy lines. Restaurant-catalog-ish, to be sure, but an improvement. Unfortunately, we can’t say the same for the food—or the clumsy service (waiters are seemingly unable to pronounce anything on the menu). If the ownership of Simposio, when they moved to Westheimer, was under the delusion that a U-Haul would save an incompetent kitchen, they were mistaken.

At our last visit, a starter of Gorgonzola spinach salad came out almost immediately after having been ordered—that’s never a good sign—and without bread; the inexplicably bitter leaves of spinach showed up ill dressed, with vague if any hints of Gorgonzola, salty but clearly precooked pancetta. Add strange, unwelcome bits of shaved egg, and you’ve got one of Houston’s worst salads—priced at a whopping $9.50. Is the problem more in conception or execution? Probably both.

Things don’t improve with the pastas or mains—although the warm focaccia, with rosemary and slight tomato coating, comes out fine (if it ever comes out). Strozzapreti, an interesting-sounding pasta dish with sausage, tomato, and pepper, was ridiculously watery, the sauce underreduced, everything underseasoned, lacking even a shadow of coherence. We took a bite or two, and basta.

The wine list is like two different lists rolled into one: the Italian producers are immeasurably stronger than the cheapo plonk they offer from our shores. We don’t mind an Italian restaurant that’s clueless about American wine...

...but their own food?