Ingredients:
1 brick of fresh tofu from—where else?—Fresh Tofu. No substitutions.
Bunch of scallions, trimmed and cut into 1-inch diagonals
1/2 lb. ground pork
2 Tbsp. chili oil, preferably with red pepper flakes
1/2 tsp. freshly ground Szechuan peppercorns—set aside more
1/2 tsp. cornstarch, made into paste with water
Peanut oil
Salt and pepper
Directions:
At Fresh Tofu: Ignore odd occasional cat pee smell. Ask for one fresh tofu ($2). If cashless, you need to meet the $10 minimum, so grab some cha lua, Vietnamese ham with rice in fried tofu balls, and some colorful rice-based sweets. Don’t think too hard about what “Borax” refers to on the ingredients sticker.
Heat peanut oil and coat wok. Toss in scallions and stir fry for 1–2 minutes. Meanwhile, put ground Szechuan peppercorns on your tongue and start drooling. Drink water. Isn’t that neat? Your scallions are burning.
Add pork. Fry until color changes. Add tofu, Szechuan peppercorns, salt and pepper. Decide you want more Szechuan peppercorns and grind furiously. Panic and dump in about 2 tablespoons’ worth. Stir fry for another 2 minutes.
Add chili oil, stir, then add cornstarch paste. Remove from heat and keep turning ingredients until sauce thickens.
Vow next time to double the pork—because, hey, this nutty, super firm, almost cheeselike tofu is amazing on its own, but damn, pork is good.
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