The Chocolate Bar has three distinct layers: chocolates, ice cream, and baked goods. While “chocolate” is baked right into the name, we actually find the ice cream’s the most bangin’ virtue here. There are inventive flavors like “Root Beer Float” and “Chocolate Cape Cod” (with cranberries and dark chocolate chips), and they specialize in generally mixing chocolate ice cream with any number of nuts, goo, and candy. Next are the cakes, whose display is like diabetic porn. Expensive porn, considering a single slice is $10. But these are monster cakes. “Aunt Etta’s” four-layered chocolate cake is dense, rich, and dark; the “Bayou City Mud Pie” is a delightfully messy mix of mousse and brownies. If you want something smaller and cheaper, a mini cupcake or a brownie is a superb and indulgent, but still totally manageable, prospect.

Homemade chocolates come in all sorts of cutesy shapes like calculators and tennis rackets that are clearly intended as gifts—chocolate toothbrushes could deliver a confusing message. Chocolate-dipped fruits and pretzels behind the counter are far better than your average candy, and also far more expensive. But considering that the world’s chocolate comes from a scant percentage of land—only within ten degrees of the equator—the high prices make sense. It’s a rare commodity; cheap chocolate is hardly chocolate, anyway.