Okay, we just don’t get it, never have…

But it’s a Monday noon and the barn-like space is packed with docs in scrubs, collared priests, a lotta people in tees…and is anybody complaining? Buzzer #89 goes off after about ten minutes, so it’s hard to complain about long waits. We hike to the pickup counter, and there it is in all its glistening glory, “Our Specialty: Tostada Burger.” “Creamy” cheddar cheese flows from it like so much magma, only to be joined by secondary floes of liquefied refried beans. A few soggy looking corn chips have also escaped the bun’s bounds. The sight is gasp-inducing, and this is the regular size, not the “macho” model. We are really gonna need the pico de gallo to counteract all this ooze…

Upon closer inspection, the bun is well-toasted, the irregular patty looking hand-formed—but how to deal with a blob burger? Find a knife; there’s no way this puppy can be picked up with any decorum.

Ah, decorum, maybe there’s the rub. Objectively speaking, there are way better burgers in town, but this is decidedly an experience—all for $5.49 without the unexceptional fries.

We still don’t get it.