The average age: over 60. The average distance traveled by the clientele: probably less than a couple of miles. In a private room off to the side: perhaps a meeting of the Texas City Noon Lions club. Beer flags, hanging fishing nets, and other assorted Gulf/Texas/Louisiana paraphernalia complete the scene. Does it get any more local-kitsch than this?

The Reef Seafood House (not to be confused with Houston’s modern, upmarket Reef restaurant, which is just about the opposite of this one in every way) is known for its “all-you-can-eat platters,” which basically means that the staff will come around and refill your servings of boiled shrimp, catfish, fried blue crab, chicken-fried steak, or whatever else, until you burst. This is essentially impossible, though, because the first platter can feed about a family of four, and sharing the all-you-can-eat platters is, needless to say, prohibited.

So stick with the smaller (and still imposssible to finish) mixed seafood platters, which are available fried (best) or grilled with Cajun spices (not as good). A pleasant, vaguely sweet batter works best when coating plump fried oysters, and less well when coating generally overcooked Gulf shrimp or fresh but sometimes metallic and overly firm catfish.

Oysters on the half shell are served at an unusually warm temperature, which would be disconcerting if not for the fact that the place is spitting distance from the Gulf; their taste is faint and their size huge, as is typical for the local oyster population. We’ve got no complaints there. But hush puppies (which arrive on your table about three seconds after your bum touches your wooden chair) underperform in typical Texas style, too dense and mealy. When will we learn from the Carolinians how to make proper hush puppies?

In the end, this place is more about the local flavor and color than the Gulf seafood, but it performs above average on the plate, too.

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