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Fearless Critic restaurant review
Barbecue, Burgers
Counter service

Tue–Fri 9:00am–5:30pm
Sat 9:00am–4:00pm

Bar None
Credit cards Visa, MC, AmEx

Medical Center
3106 Old Spanish Trail
Houston, TX
(713) 747-6800
Guy’s Meat Market
One half-pound smoked burger, hold the fuss and flair, for a limited time only

You can smell smoldering wood and meat the moment you pull into the parking lot of Guy’s. For a long time, this place was known as a good ol’ Texas barbecue joint, but the barbecue’s not so much the point these days. The lunchtime crowds are here for the smoked burger, one of the greatest treasures you can find in a humble meat market—there are no tables here; everything is take-out. Burgers are a half-pound of dense, well-done, thick meat with a pretty smoke ring. Unsurprisingly, they tend to run out by about noon. (The creation of artificial shortage is a great marketing gimmick.) Given the demand and shortage, it’s surprising that the price is still only $4.92. The toppings aren’t anything to write home about, but do add cheese and jalapeños, and forget the fries—there aren’t any.

The barbecue (brisket, ribs, sausage, and chicken) is more hit-or-miss, but jalapeño sausage, with a pleasantly burning flavor in the back of your mouth, is seasoned well and smoked beautifully. Upon walking in, the faint haze of smoke deludes you into thinking that either this is hamburger heaven or the depths of Hell. We’ll take Hell if it smells and tastes like this.

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