The downside to The Aquarium being part of Landry’s “casual dining” seafood empire is its general mediocrity; a chain that buys ingredients for dozens of restaurants at a time is going to focus more on volume than quality, so nothing will taste like it just came out of the sea—or the fish tank, for that matter. The plus side is the impressively Disneyesque complex incorporating the old Fire Station #1 and the Central Waterworks, and spanning 17 acres on the west side of downtown. There’s a ferris wheel, a train ride through a shark tank, dancing fountains, a temple with tigers, and assorted carnivalesque fun for the kids (you have to pay for most of these; there’s a $15.99 all-day pass). Inside the main dining area, tables are arranged around a 200,000-gallon tank full of rays, eels, and tropical fish.

Which is pretty much the point of this place. Meats are tough, the salads and fries are limp, and whatever isn’t bland is overwrought with cream and butter. Cocktails are so syrupy sweet and brightly colored, they appeal more to the kids than the adults. Just think of it as a trip to an aquarium with your dinner bill as the price of admission; if you think of it as a trip to a seafood restaurant, then you’re in deep, deep trouble.