Okay, look. You need to go here. Just once. Then decide if you really love Lord of the Rings enough to ever come back. We grew up on the stuff, so we can’t help but love Hobbit Café, which, despite the recent Hollywood-fueled resurgence (the owners must have been thrilled), has been an institution since the ’70s, a decade of young idealists who relished—among houseplants, macramé, and shag carpeting—the fantasy world created by J.R.R. Tolkien.

Past the jarring life-sized figurine of the film version of Gollum standing in the foyer, colorful lights keep the atmosphere kitschy and fun, rather than scary and obsessive. The health-conscious fare does its best work as all-day brunch; most plates include either a low-fat this or a whole-wheat that. Avocado and alfalfa sprouts appear on many dishes; an avocado omelette is fantastic for the first half, but a struggle for the second half, as it seems like it’s made with at least two whole avocados. Spinach-and-mushroom enchiladas have a nutritious, nutty taste, and are, thankfully, covered in cheese.

Given how much hobbits love their drink, there’s an appropriately extensive selection of ales, stouts, Belgians, U.S. microbrews, and more. Opt for these over the grocery-aisle wines. And resist asking for a bit of “pipe-weed” to smoke afterward. They’re probably sick of this one.