As the name suggests, Coal Vines eschews wood, gas, and electric in favor of a coal-fired pizza oven. The result is a chewy crust with a crisp haze, more notable for its huskier, savory notations than any hint of brusque heat. The toppings are minimalistic: cheese and sauce barely interfere with meat (or non-meat bits, in their vegetarian-friendly white pizza). Really, it’s a pie barely worthy of comment—neither remarkable nor entirely forgettable.

Entirely typical for a growing franchise that began in Uptown, atmosphere and style trumps food. The patio is cluttered, yet somehow compelling if the inadvertent brush against things not-so-surprisingly firm fits the definition. The wine list hits properly blond and Botoxed notes. Walls bear Italianesque scars. On busy nights (and that’s not every night), cacophony and dissonance rule. Coal Vines looks like a New York sidewalk destination. It’s also priced for the big city, with pizzas running in the $20 range. But the overall experience is pure substance-free Dallas.