If the SoCal-ish name doesn’t deter you (the small chain is based up in Arlington), then you might find yourself in this attractive converted warehouse space, where streams of ambient light fill the open dining area by day, bringing a soft glow to expanses of blond wood. At night, thumping music and mood lighting readies dates for saketini-fueled make-out sessions. Chic, molded Eames chairs are tucked up around tables and booths, jockeying for floor space with the padded stools around a central rectangular sushi bar. Hot tea is served, pleasantly, in glazed ceramic, and wine and sake bottles peek out from a wall rack of dramatic scale.

Given the lush interior, one could suppose that Piranha ran out of money before it got around to sourcing its fish, which tends to be bland and mushy, with the sinewy strands of roughly cut flesh that perhaps wasn’t up to the task in the first place. The thawed-out taste of the sashimi isn’t really improved by its presentation in cute bento boxes, or by the occasional shiso leaf. More attention seems to be given to the accompanying salads, like one with hearts of palm and cucumber.

Piranha does a better job when hiding its so-so fish inside of specialty rolls. While none of it is traditional maki, some will appreciate the forearm-sized servings teeming with fried shrimp, cream cheese, and fancy mayonnaises. A few intriguing creations certainly attract attention, like tuna, avocado, and strawberry in a “Marry Me” roll; and crawfish, mango, and ginger in a “Sexy” roll. But these flavor combinations are as unconvincing and desperate as their names. The rolls amount to tempura-fried American picnic salads, some of which even taste pretty good, but hardly qualify for a rating within Japanese cuisine.

If the eponymous grub is flubbed, you’re bound to have less success with ambitious cross-Asian dishes like pad Thai with udon noodles and Korean grilled steak. (Was it grilled by Koreans? Served in a “Korean” sauce? Sliced from a Korean cow? Give us a break.) Teriyaki, yakitori, and tempura make this place simply a much hipper Wiki Wiki.

Salvage a shred of dignity by sticking with the sake selection, although its range is pretty limited. With a cocktail menu consisting of not-too-sweet, sweet, and downright-dessert drinks, and sporting options like the “Wedding Cake,” the “Naughty Asian,” and the “Sexytini,” you’re left wondering which ’90s sorority was hired to consult.

Piranha are less known for their succulent flesh than for their mindless, efficient annihilation of anything of substance. In that sense, this place—sexy as it is—couldn’t be more aptly named.

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